I suppose my adolescent self asked it of me. In the misty world half-asleep where you can meet — anybody. Long as you have a connection. And only Christ administers that database. Or maybe it was some adjacent teenager. It’s not important precisely who. I’ll tell. I’ll tell it true.

First off: never, never, ever have sex. I only did this once, and it is miserable and degrading. You feel less human for a week. Never have sex, young man. Rather, make love. And make it often as you can. Whenever there is absolutely nothing pretentious about it. You need to learn to police yourself. But I promise you, authenticity is like a magnet in these matters. And remain wakeful! Because intimacy is a communication. Above all else, to lovemake is to message something, and you must reserve a sufficient packet of energy, psychic and physical, to always be transmitting and receiving transmissions. Her subtlest ones are purely golden! Throw technique out the window, as a concept. The technique is you. Pure you. On the matter of gauging beauty, or attraction — nothing could be more mysterious, my earnest Chela. What you believe in one period will turn upside down in another. Merit is where you must find it, and you must look with Zen Beginner eyes each moment. Let no previous memory perceptions superimpose on your now. You will find infinite beauty, in proportion as you cultivate the power and discernment of your gaze. If you can enter the floating world with her then all else loses importance. And the key to that portal is earnest authenticity, pure you. If you find a woman who can be your guide in this — she is golden. But in general be bold and righteous. Normally it is your union who becomes the best guide. Not either individual.

Now more than this — for this can suffice you on its own if you hold it closely — I will instruct you upon but three ancillary topics. They are passivity vs. aggression, dependency upon intoxicants, and the sacred mystery of orgasm.

Certain ladies possess a bodily aspect, the compelling quality of which floods you with pleasure solely relying upon the ardor of your expressed desire for her. And though relative to yours her lovemake efforts might seem passive, there is a secret rare harmony in this apparent imbalance and the experience will be most edifying for you both. Such ladies are born to receive, and their giving is purely in the magnitude of their beauties as well as the purely guileless character of their receptivity. They are like morning flowers opening to the unquenchable love from the sun. Do not discount such love companions as too passive. It is the purity of your appreciation of their physicality which unlocks the key to their bliss. and when this happens aright it will spill over cocooning you both as a single glowing organism. The union will be blessed. On the other hand, some ladies love actively. This too can be golden, though you must guard against facile wanton lust. Never forget the communication point I told you, Chela. That channel must remain open and vivid. This point taken, know that one of the very best kinds of love is when a woman is frankly curious about your body, and explores it with a sensitive gusto forthwith. Guard against having sex, and make love, and this kind of union will sparkle and amaze the both of you. This dispenses with the matter of passivity vs. aggression within intimacy.

To understand intoxicants aright you must become clear-eyed about what and why they are. Making love must be conceived as a spiritual activity. Hold fast to the notion of ever-present intensified communication. Intoxicating agents, on purpose, dull the necessary attentiveness for this, and unfortunately the woman whose soul is wine-soaked will nearly always have some aspect of her being, perhaps a finer ether body, which is not, cannot be, fully present. The experience can be very gratifying superficially, but the aftermath will inevitably carry the feeling that ‘something is missing’ which neither lover can place their fingers upon. And the pathway to a deeper melding will be blocked. The reason for this has to do with the truth that most who rely excessively upon intoxicants are employing it as a less than apt method to alleviate some unresolved pain. Or the experiencing of it. And to have the possibility of bringing the full self to the party it is necessary to not have some aspect of self avoiding the present circumstance. It’s a fairly common tragic reality for many of both genders. For many have unresolved past pain, and the lovemaking which could have the power to transform it is handcuffed at the outset. A very bewildering riddle, my Chela. For you might very strongly harbor a wish to help heal such malady within the other.

As for the holy climax, a simple and reliable rule of thumb is that her orgasm is many, many times more valuable than your own. In fact, many with experience will hold that the male climax is something to almost be avoided or withheld. My own view on this is that it should be allowed but infrequently. The energy patterns within the subtle bodies after orgasmic releases are quite different with women and men. The first spreads an increasing sense of well-being while the second tends to dampen the vitality temporarily. The male may counteract this somewhat in the case where the woman distinctly desires the male orgasm and wishes for it. In such cases it should not be withheld but one should focus upon contemplating the gift nature of it, in this instance, and this very perspective has a soothing effect upon both parties while easing the vitality loss. For the male, you should learn to treasure the female orgasm. For a golden treasure it really is! Spare no patience in its cultivation. Subtle energies spread in waves of goodness from her climaxed organs and the properly appreciated union can be deeply healing for both. A radiating sweetness can even be sensed in the air by the olfactory organs when the alertness is of a certain healthy level. Take kindly joy in this, Chela, but guard always against making it a goal.

Explore with an open heart, and remember, all who you so link with in this manner, child, you will remain linked with forever in some fashion you cannot yet fathom. Even beyond this earthly life. Choose with discretion, not with too much abandon. But once chosen, commit your faculties with the completeness and uncalculated totality of little children, the way they are trusting, at play.

I leave you with this. Sexual glory is but a doorway to something else, even far more wondrous. This “something else” is why Providence has placed lovemaking before us. Do not stay willfully blind to this, drunk in the splendor as it is. Let it be a doorway! Let it guide your metamorphosis, in prideless community. One day your body will lack the organs but you can perceive they were never essential in the first place. I bless your quest.

_______RS

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