Some esoteric truths are hidden, for good reason; others are concealed in plain sight demanding only earnest and interested looking….

There was concern, a palpable fear, that maybe they’d inadvertently crossed the border. Wrong place, wrong passports, wrong youthful military patrol they might happen across at any moment — and the situation would rapidly deteriorate. Turkey somewhere close behind them. Armenia roughly in that direction, Iran, ancient Persia in this. Even the Azerbaijani enclave was not too distant. The frontiers melded and morphed like the moving moonlit clouds in the eerie night. Their Kurdish guides had retreated in haste over an hour ago, unwilling to risk their geographical knowledge any further. The two friends paused in the shelter of some boulders, waiting for clouds to re-obscure the full moonlight while considering their next steps.

One guide had mentioned a crumbled old Armenian style domed temple concealed in a natural ravine just after the forest’s edge. He told how September’s full moon lit the dome from their rise if looking in the right direction before fleeing. And in a chamber only recently uncovered by a new rockwall collapse lay a few clay cisterns with rolled-up scrolls. Possibly they were still too recent to have been noticed and thieved by mercenary wanderers. The two friends were committed to this escapade with a naive derring-do fueled by their love of hunting down obscure shards of ancient wisdoms. Then the clouds shifted and a fleeting finger of light caressed the treeline just below, and off to the right. His friend pointed. He thought he saw the ephemeral outlines of a darker crevice — the forest ravine.

They listened, straining to subtract the moaning wind sounds from the environs, in order to detect any patrols. “Think it feels okay… about two hundred feet… that way. Moon’s covering now; get ready.” He used the final seconds of dim light to take in the terrain between himself and where his friend pointed. They couldn’t risk flashlights. Then the moon blackened, and they lightly trotted down the slope.

No sooner they reached the ravine when the moonglow returned and revealed a crumbled stone dome close by. Unmistakably Armenian design. maybe 4th or 5th century. Staying low and behind the trees they hurried in silence down into the opened earth crevice, out of any line of sight from the surroundings. His eyes were accustoming well to the dark now. He actually preferred when no moon interfered. Down an eroded stairway they quickly located the freshly crumbled wall section. With one body blocking the glow, they illumined the light one second — long enough to spot the broken cisterns against a far wall. Inside two of them were the warm brownish glow of scrolls. Eureka! They had to work fast and in silence, combing through them, considering the degree of damage and the thickness. One more quick flicker of his flash. Definitely ancient Armenian script — it was impossible to confuse it with anything else; the figures were so distinctive. Neither could read fluently; they had to hunt in a general way, guestimating the subject matter from the top few lines. He was drawn to a shortish well-preserved scroll, maybe twenty sheets long. The heading mentioned something about “Fearlessness As A Condition”. His friend selected two longer but thinner scrolls. He unscrewed the end of his flashlight and neatly fitted the scroll inside the tube after removing the two batteries, which he buried in the soil at his feet. Had to wait a good ten minutes in silent alertness; heartbeat was pounding uncontrollably at first.

Three days later… late morning a rented room looking out over Lake Van — ‘wan golu’ the Turks called it — and some apricots and soft cheese and tiny cup of the mud-like Turkish coffee. His friend had continued west, on towards Shanli-Urfa. Two dictionaries, one in Old Armenian and one for Armenian-English. And a notebook. He began deciphering. After four hours work he thought he had enough coherent text to contemplate the first two sheets.

[Soon, future centuries, possible to make far progress independently, with no school or teacher… independently, if assiduous persistent effort, progress fairly far along way… before begin: strive utmost truthfulness with others… eradicate personal gain, egotism, as motivation for knowledge… higher knowledge must be for sake of world, humanity… else ruination… bearing sorrows with equanimity and grace… for fate will hurl obstacles, dissuasions… however be resilient, no real harm, danger, if all instructions adhered to… aspirant must become adept at dual life… usual life we – necessary to form judgements… all perceptions what come to meet senses must be judged, opinions formed, that is normal… in spirit realms very different, judgements impossible and deleterious… but all thoughts, ideas, judgements in higher place must only be means to an end… like the colors are for artists, like musical tones for singers… not ends in themselves but mere tools for expression… in higher realms, must excise tendency for judgements immediately upon perception… things fluctuate, because more alive… see things as symbols, indicators of continuing meaning, unfolding… thoughts and colors so forth, simply means of expressing what higher worlds reveal… preferences of all kinds prevent your entry! … must get beyond opinions, points of view… whole theater of experience in deeply intimate areas of soul… frightening reorientation to new reality… for all one’s usual reliances depart… must get used to entire inner soul life becoming reduced to a mere means, signposts, rather than an end itself… this condition truly stepping into unknown, abyss… hence reality of strong fear, anxiety… soul must thus cultivate fearlessness prior… if persistence succesful then new gate… meditant comes to clearly see… things in general are in a bad way within own soul… reality of our soul’s poor capacity to confront reality is directly experienced, known not theorized… no aspirant immune from this… important moment upon road]

The sky over Lake Van was luminous blue, and the air pleasingly cool. The sun’s present angle warmed his face just so. Out of the haze to his right, a lone fisherman walked the shoreline, in a dignifed manner. He puzzled over the significance of fear some moments. When the fisherman was directly in front of him by the water, he looked up, and saw that the fisherman was regarding him. Friendly, but intently. Something made him call out in Turkish whether the man had eaten or was hungry. The fisherman approached him and sat across the table, exchanging customary greetings. He took but a fig and a morsel of cheese and then studied the student of Old Armenian. A wise light glimmered in him as he spoke, in English.

Do you understand why? Why it is that courage and complete control of fear are so critical after a certain point upon the road you seek?

He was entirely stunned and nearly lost all composure at this. But he had undergone enough training to at least recall an important thing he’d once heard. That at odd moments a teacher would appear if you truly needed one, and the appearance would always be in the nature of a test. What was crucial now was not to waste conversational exchange opportunity with a slew of tangential astonished questions. He pushed aside all unconsidered reaction:

— — I believe it is connected with being able to withstand the shock. The shock of coming to see how inadequate one’s inner situation really is, in the face of encountering spiritual truths, and objective entities.

The teacher nodded subtly, tasting his reply, and indicated that the man should listen with care, for some words can be said but once. And the man noticed a slight softening in his demeanor. And even in the surrounding air.

Yes, that is a kind of outer, surface reason. But there is a deeper one. After a bend the road holds dangers for those disinclined to sufficiently prepare. For at a certain point you are more on your own than previously was the case. In usual life you are ‘carried’, we could say. Buoyed up in the bosom of shielding forces. But then it is like childhood terminates. You must have cultivated a strong center, a steadfast core to rely upon, in order to meet new truths which now come forward. You must sense that each new realization afforded you is no longer a ‘thing’ you safely and comfortably regard at your leisure. Rather these things bear sentience in themselves! They are beings! And they regard you with a powerful presence that is absolutely beyond the mentality of mere opinions. To navigate on, you do not look, or search, or experiment. Instead you notice: something is regarding you! Either you move towards it or not. You are totally transparent to these spiritual entities. And the most important change within your cognitive circumstance is this: the more you rise in these higher worlds, the more and more your intellectual and moral soul qualities intermingle. The only way you can perceive anything is via the quality of your own morality. For that world — the real world — is morally constituted, through and through. And woe to one who loses direction. Remember this. And rest now.

An interim of very restorative repose unfolded. And the man stirred after awhile, a blanket around his shoulders, reclined back in his chair. All was brilliantly refreshed. Sunset was preparing itself on the lake’s far rim. And the fisherman was nowhere to be seen.

_______RS

[ Note : story inspired by this lecture given in Berlin, 1913. ]

[ Images : ancient Egyptian sculpted trio… Horus, Osiris, and Isis from left to right. Plus, ancient Armenian carved stone symbols. ]

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